medical check

So, there are new requirements to teach English in Korea. One of which is a medical check. You can't get an alien card without getting this done, and without an alien card you can't get a cell phone, bank account, HomePlus points card (haha), etc.

The main purpose for the medical check is to make sure you don't have any drugs in you and to find out if you have HIV/AIDS. It costs about $50 and the president of my school, Mr. Kim, (who drove me to the hospital) said it would just come out of my next pay cheque. The Bobang Memorial hospital is about a 3-minute drive from my school. During that time, I was able to find out that Mr. Kim plays tennis every Sunday, he and his wife argue about it often because he's gone every Sunday morning, but his argument is that she's lucky he's not into golf, which is extremely expensive in Korea and takes up more than half the day. Haha! I also found out that his kid, Gorden, is in one of my afternoon classes. Shit. Have to make sure I do a good job in that class. Damn.

Anyway, once in the hospital, I was told by numerous hospital staff, who speak very minimal English, where to go, what to do, and what's about to happen. First stop was the change room. I had to change into these pajama-looking things (keeping on only my underwear bottoms) and put on slippers, all for no real reason, really. Next, I had to get my blood pressure taken. They didn't tell me what it was, so I have no idea. Then I had to pee in a cup. The bathroom had this small metal cabinet in the wall where I was to put my cup o' piss. The lady opened it to show it to me and I kept it open while I did my thing. Little did I know, this was a two-way piss-keeping cabinet. The lady was on the other side of the wall, she opened up her side of the cabinet and saw me tinkling in my cup! Awesome. I didn't care at all actually. She was a lot more embarrassed than I was. Haha. She said sorry a bunch of times. Then I went into an office where a lady doctor asked me if I had any diseases, did drugs, smoked, drank alcohol, or had any allergies. I told her I had eczema, drank a bit on the weekends, and had seasonal allergies. And then I told her, "Smoking's for suckers." Haha. I'm kidding.... about me telling her, that is, not about smoking being for suckers because it is.

Next was my weight and height measurements, which were in kilos and centimetres, so I have no idea what I weigh and how tall I am. Well, I could easily convert it, but like I'm going to put that on here. After that was the hearing test. They put me in a booth, slapped big headphones on my head, and gave me a thumb clicker. Press the button when I hear a sound. And then... came the dreaded blood test. Dun dun duuuuun. I hate needles. But one of my co-workers is worse than I am. She actually came back to school after her medical check all red-faced and crying. The last time she got a needle she passed out because she's that terrified of them. Anyway, the nurse took my arm and for about a solid 5 minutes was looking for a vein. She kept poking my arm with her finger, tied this rubber thing around my arm, told me to pump my fist, untied the rubber thing, poked again, tied the rubber thing around my arm again, poked more.... I think she just pretended to find a vein and poked me with the needle regardless, hoping she would draw blood. I was fine AND grossed out at the same time. I watched her draw the blood out. The thought of it actually makes me feel all weak and jello-y inside, but when it's actually happening I toughen up some how. Before my medical check, Mr. Kim said, "Just please don't cry." Haha. I promised him I wouldn't.

After the blood test was my x-ray. They took a chest x-ray and then a hip/abdomen x-ray. The weirdest thing, I was lying on my right side for the abdomen x-ray and when they were done, a young man (I think he was an x-ray tech) in a white robe came out and asked me in about a million different English-type words if I was wearing "accessories" and he kept pointing to my lower region. He was asking if I was wearing underwear. I said "yes" and then he spoke to the Korean nurse and then he asked again as if confused. Again, I said "yes." He looked confused, but he also looked like he believed me. I was wearing underwear, but it was a thong. Do they not have those here??? And I thought the x-ray was for my bones, not for my undergarments! I'm still very perplexed by that whole episode. Ah, well, whatever.

The x-ray was the last of it all. So, now, if this medical check is just to test for drugs and HIV/AIDS, then why did I have to get my blood pressure, height, weight, and hearing checked, and why did I have to get x-rays done??? This country is still as confusing as I remember it to be.